Somalia
by Spamez
Summary: This is about what Ziva lived through when held captive in Somalia. It runs through her emotions, chalenges & the trauma she experienced while there. This story is rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

After Somalia Ziva has never been the same, no surprise the entire team had noticed, but so did Director Vance, who sent her to a therapist right after they had gotten back from Somalia. The therapist, Alice Capshaw, has recommended to Ziva that it would be better for her to continue therapy, so she did and has been taking an hour of work once a month to do so.

The Therapist's Office (07:04)

"Ziva it's been almost three years since you first came to me, but you have still not said a word about what happened when you were held captive." Dr. Alice Capshaw says to Ziva who is sitting on a couch across her, Ziva looks down as she pulls her legs up and folds them in front of her.

"In the three years you have been here you made good progress, you already opened up about a lot of sensitive things, like when your sister died, everything that happened with your brother, the way you feel about your father, about Gibbs, Tony, I could go on. But you always pull away when it comes to what happened in Somalia." Alice says, her voice soft and soothing, as she tries to convince Ziva to open up. Ziva looks down again, fiddling with her fingers as her hands rest on her folded legs.

"It's not my favorite subject. I still sometimes have nightmares about it. It haunts me, everything that happened up to the point where that bullet tore through Salim's head." Ziva says and falls silent.

"Tell me what happened. I want to help you get over this."

"After arguing with Malachi about who goes, we agreed that he will return to Israel and get back-up. I paid a currier to take me to Salim's camp, when we arrived I killed him, I fought my way through Salim's defenses, I got so close to Salim, I could have killed him right there if not for his 'right hand man'…" Ziva starts to tell as the memory runs through her mind.

Ziva's Memory

…his dark, snake like eyes stare straight through her soul; she suddenly feels a burning, stinging pain fills her skull. She wakes up, her hands are bound and her head is throbbing. 'Where am I?' she thinks to herself, she walks over to a big wooden door then turn around and tries to find a way out.

What feels like hours has passed when suddenly a man bursts through the door; he grabs her by her arm and throws her out of the room, after taking her to a different room he throws her down on a chair.

"I need to know the names of all the known operatives currently in the area and still to be in the area. I also need to know what happened to the shipment." The man says angrily.

"I do not know." She answered, but he would not believe her, he slapped her across the face each time she says 'I do not know', after a short while he had began to lose his temper and instead of a slap he would punch her in the stomach, she felt sick after each blow, they kept getting harder until he gave up and left. That is when the two other men came in; they look at her then at each other and smile. They walk over to her and grab her by her arms; they yank her to her feet and start beating her. They beat her so hard she hardly has time to breathe. They punch her in her stomach and ribs, they punch her in her face, blood is pouring out of her nose and the torn skin around her eye, but they keep hitting her and hitting her, she finally manages to get out of their grip and fight back, they did not expect her to, she punches them and kicks the away from her, after hitting the one's head against the wall the other one grabs her again, she hits him with her elbow in his stomach, she spins around and kicks him in the face, but the one gets up off the ground and grabs her, before she can fight back the other one is also back on his feet. Despite their beating they continue to assault her for a short while. After which the drag her back to the room she came from, they throw her on the ground and leave, locking the door behind them.

Therapist's Office

Ziva's eye are still focused on her hands resting on her folded legs, Alice looks at her concerned, because Ziva has not looked up once since she started explaining what happened.

"Are you alright?" Alice asks, she noticed how upset Ziva is.

"Yes." Ziva says, quickly looking up at Alice and then back down again.

"After that beating alone it hurt to breathe, my one eye was swollen shut, but he would not believe me, so Salim started questioning me…"

Ziva's Memory

…Salim crashes through the door, but she does not bother to look up, when he stops next to her he looks at her, his hand moves to her neck, he takes the necklace in his hand and rips it off. After looking at it he threw it to the ground, he looks at her, reaches over, grabs her hair and pulls her head backwards, she gasps for air as he does this, pain running through her entire body, stinging like a million bees.

"Tell me everything you know, about NCIS." Salim says, the sound of his voice ringing in her ears, a cold cloud of fear creeps into her; she looks directly into his cold snake like eyes, his words repeat in her mind. 'NCIS' she thinks, but the only thing that comes up is Tony and how bad she treated him in Israel and how much she misses him, and Gibbs with his cold outer shell and mushy inside, she can't stop thinking about everything they have done for her.

"Reliable, trustworthy people." She says, she can see that it is not the answer Salim wants, he lets go of her hair and slaps her across her face.

"I need to know the names of those working in the area." Salim says agitatedly.

"I do not know who is in the area; I only worked with one team." She says, Salim looks at her, anger pouring out of his eyes.

"And Mossad?" He demands his answer with pure disgust.

"I do not know." She says.

"So what you are trying to say is that you do not know anything." He says sarcastically.

"Yes." She says, he slaps her across the face again, but he had not noticed she got her hand out of the ties, she jumps up and fights back, she kicks him in the stomach and throws a few punches before he grabs her by her throat and pushes against the wall, she can barely breathe and has the urge to gag.

"You will come second!" He yells in her ear, and throws her to the ground, she coughs loudly before Salim kicks her in her ribs.

"The names!" He requests again and again, each time she does not give him the answer he wants, he kicks her, before she even has time to take a breath his foot hits her again, she tries to get up but he kicks her down each time she attempts it. The pain is bursting out of her side, shooting through every bone in her body. Noticing he is getting nowhere with her Salim storms out of the room leaving her on the floor unbound, gasping for air. Her thoughts run wild, she thinks of her friends and co-workers at NCIS, but then remembers she does not work there anymore, the thought of never seeing them again brings tears to her eyes. She thinks back to the night she had slept over at Abby's apartment, she remembers all the fun they had, drinking beer and talking about random stuff, she misses them so much. 'What was I thinking? Why did I leave? I was much happier at NCIS than I ever was at Mossad, at NCIS we were like a family, how can anyone want to leave that?' Her thought is interrupted by two men bursting through the door. They grab her and runs her back into the wall, as they hold her there their eye run up and down her body, but she suddenly lift her one knee hitting the one man in the genitals, she hits the other in the face with her elbow, she fights them off for a few seconds, but the one man grabs her from behind holding her hands next to her side, 'perfect' she thinks as she reaches to his pocket and takes the knife she noticed as they came in, she slips it into her pocket without them realizing. Not knowing the mistake he has just made, he holds her for the other man to abuse her, but she kicks him in the face, she gets out of the one man's grip and throws him into the wall, she goes for the other man grabbing the knife out of his pocket as well before slitting his throat with it, she turns around and expertly throws the knife into the remaining man's throat. She looks for any other weapons she can hide on her before heading to the door. She slams on it a few times and someone opens it for her.

"Done alread…" He starts to say before Ziva slits his throat as well. She looks around to see if there are any more guards, she doesn't see any so she sneaks down the hall. Not really knowing where she is, she walks along slowly, but is stopped by a second guard patrolling the other hallway, he grabs her, but she stabs him, before she even has time to get up properly there are more men running towards her, she now knows she is screwed. Unsuccessfully she tries to fight her way through, but there are too many men and she is overpowered. They take the knife from her hand and tie her up again, she squirms, still trying to out of two men's grip, but is thrown into the room she woke up in, before she could.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

She sits against the wall, watching the door straight across from her, the cold of the night still hanging around the room, the pain is even more now, she thinks about everything that has happened since she joined NCIS as Liaison Officer. Memories flash through her mind, she remembers the time she was under cover as Tony's wife, all the fun they had talking about things that they normally wouldn't have, and of course, the sex.

"For your information that's my knee."

"Whatever, you can get off me now."

"It's only been forty minutes, I have a reputation to protect."

"Well in that case, I'm on top." A smile appears on her face as this memory plays in her mind. More memories sprint through her mind. The time she was stuck in the container with Tony, playing twister the night before, the dinner she and Tony had the night after. She remembers the way everyone worked together to prove her innocence when she was framed by the Iranians, Tony giving her a shoulder to cry on after Roy died, also how Tony blocked her out when he was with Jeanne and how worried she was. Tears begin to run down her face as she remembers all the events involving Jeanne, but they streamed out of her eyes when the thought of Tony's car blowing up came to mind. She wipes off the tears, her hands still bound, she had forgotten about the knife in the front, left pocket of her pants. 'What did I do? Why did I throw all that away? I had it all, everything I could possibly have wanted, and I just threw it away. If I had stayed with Mossad I would most likely be dead by now, how could anyone want that life? How could anyone want that life for their children?' As these thoughts move through her mind a few more tears role down her face.

More thoughts enter her mind, but are interrupted by three men. They walk to her, the one grabs her hands and pull her into a corner, the one holds her hands above her head as another pushes her to the ground. She watches as the third man stands over her and begins to unbuckle his belt, he bends down to his knees, still over her, she tries to get out from under him, but the other two men push her down, the third man uses his legs to keep hers where he wants them. He reaches down to her shirt, and rips it open, the buttons shoot away, falling on the floor, she tries to somehow cover herself without the use of her hands, the man smiles as her upper body is completely exposed apart from her bra. He moves his hands slowly up her body before moving it under her to undo her bra.

"No! Stop it!" She screams, squirming even more now, trying to get him to stop, but she is once again unsuccessful. After undoing her bra he moves it upward to expose her breast, he smiles again as he moves his down to her exposed chest, and trails over both her breasts and her upper body with his tongue. She tries once more to get out of their grip. She cringes as the man begins to untie her pants. She tries to pull her leg out from under him, but gets a slap across the face. He yanks off her pants and underwear.

"No! Get off m…agh!" She tries to say as one of the men holding her down shoves a rag in her mouth preventing her from speaking, before the third man begins to rape her. Even more pain is storming through her body now, but the man continues for what feels like hours, he continues with quick, hard movements, tearing things she didn't even know she had…

Therapist's Office

"…he finally stopped and got off of me, but then he just switched places with one of the other two." Ziva says, a tear, she had tried so hard to keep from falling, slips down her face. Alice looks at her with a painful, sympathetic expression, now she understands why Ziva never wanted to talk about Somalia.

"From that point on it was a daily occurrence, but it was not always just three, the one time there was about seven of them…"

Ziva's Memory

…Almost two weeks after being captured, and the most of the swelling on her eye has gone down. One of Salim's men comes in and drags her to the other room; he throws her down on the chair and leaves. After a while Salim comes through the door with two other men.

"I need those names and the location of the shipment. Now!" Salim yells, she quivers as her mind processes his words, she gave up even trying to convince him that she doesn't know anything days ago. When he sees she is once again not going to answer him, he pulls her off of the chair and pushes her down flat on her back, one of the other men comes closer with a bucket of water and empties it on her face, and the man leaves to refill the bucket. She coughs vigorously as he asks the same question again, when she doesn't answer, they empty another bucket on her face. Again and again they do the same thing, soaking wet, gasping for air, she tries to push herself up, but is forced back down by Salim's foot.

"Just give me those names and you will save yourself al lot of blood." Salim says again.

"I do not know anything!" She shouts. He bends down and grabs her by her hair.

"Yes you do! Why do you not just tell me!" Salim yells at her.

"I do not know! You asshole! I have not been working for Mossad for four years!" Ziva shouts. Salim kicks her in the side and leaves, one of the other men takes her back to the other room.

Ziva is curled up in the corner behind the door, her legs pulled up to her chest, tears flowing freely out of her eyes, with no real will for survival, she sits there thinking, remembering how Tony blocked her out when his relationship with Jeanne ended and how she blocked him out when things between her and Michael became serious. Regretting it she remembers how he was there for her after Hoffman tried to kill her and how she pushed him away then. She remembers when they were in LA, before they started worrying about Jenny, when Tony took pictures of her in a bikini by the pool and all the jokes they made on their way into that desert. She thinks about the events of the past few days, she cringes at the thought of the men raping her. The thought repeats in her mind over and over again, the more she tries to think of something else the more it hangs in her mind…

Therapist's Office

She wipes a tear off of her face, still looking down, she trembles with fear at the mere thought of Salim's face. Alice looks up, unsure of whether or not to stop Ziva, she can see the subject is stirring something deep inside her, something far more than just being raped on a daily bases for about three months.

"Ziva, are you okay?" Alice asks, trying to see if she should stop her.

"Yes." Ziva says quickly before continuing.

"That is when I made my decision, that is when I decided to stay with NCIS, they have always been there for me when I needed them the most, where at Mossad, despite the fact that Eli is my father, I was never really more than a replaceable asset…"

Ziva's Memory

As the days go by the same thing happens every day, the torture, the rape, everything. Every day she becomes more ghostly as the desire to die grows. She has been doing everything she can think of to get them to kill her, but they refuse. Suddenly a man crashes through the door and drags her out into the other room, this time Salim is already waiting for her.

"Are you going to give me those names or not?" He asks, she notices that he is not in the mood t struggle.

"I do not know anything!" She says, hoping that when he turns around she would get a bullet in her head.

"You are lying! You do know, your father is the director, it is impossible for you not to know!" he shouts at her.

"That does not mean that I know anything!"

"He trained you well. I wonder how much pain you will be able to resist before breaking." Salim says as the other man walks to him, handing him something, but Ziva cannot see what. The man walks back to the door as Salim walks to Ziva, he stops behind her and puts a knife to her throat.

"Kill me! Now! I do not know anything! Kill me!" Ziva pleads, trying her best to make it seem as if she is being sarcastic.

"Bitch!" Salim yells, he takes the blade away from her throat and jabs it into her arm before leaving.

Back in the room she is originally held, four men enter and rapes her for the second time that day. After they leave she sits there thinking. She is sick to her stomach and feels like she can no longer take it. She heads over to the door and takes the knife, she hid there, that she has stolen from the man she killed shortly after being captured. She opens it, stops as a tear run down her face before taking the knife and thrust it into her abdomen.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Therapist's Office

"How long have you been there when this happened?" Alice asks Ziva.

"Two, three weeks. I'm not sure." Ziva says, still looking down. Alice raises her eyebrows in concern.

"I laid there bleeding for, I don't even know how long, when Sayyid came in…" Ziva starts.

"Wait, who is Sayyid?" Alice asks.

"Salim's right hand man… and his youngest brother. Sayyid and I met a few years ago in Libya, his other brother, Ahmed and I are good friends. Ahmed was also one of my most reliable contacts, until I left Mossad. He did mention once that his oldest brother, Salim, is running some kind of terrorist operation in North Africa, but every time he gets close to finding it Salim would disappear again. Neither of us knew that Sayyid had joined Salim." Ziva says, Alice looking even more concerned.

"Does Ahmed know that they are dead?"

"He knows Salim is dead, but he does not know where Sayyid is, he also does not know I was held captive by them. I cannot tell him what Salim did to me, not to mention Sayyid."

"Did Sayyid rape you?"

"No, whenever I was raped Salim and Sayyid were nowhere to be found… Anyway, when Sayyid found me he panicked…"

Ziva's Memory

…Pain firing through her veins. Her hand soaked with blood, pouring out of her abdomen. Stuck in a world somewhere between being conscious and unconscious. Her eyes open and close as she sways between sleep and wake. Her eyes shoot open at the sound of the door opening, she stares at the familiar face looking down at her in terror. The face of a man she thought she knew, she thought she could trust, but to her now, it is the face of betrayal. Sayyid falls down next to her and turns her on her back, he places his hands on the wound in order to stop the bleeding. 'Save her! You must save her! She does not deserve this, tell her to play dead and get her out of here, she is a good swimmer, she can hold her breath. Salim trusts me, he will believe me if I say she is dead, or will he check to see for himself and kill me for lying to him?' Sayyid thinks to himself before calling out.

"Help!" Ziva looks at him in agony and confusion, thinking to herself, 'why did you do this Sayyid, why did you betray us?' before slipping into the world of pure unconsciousness.

Unconscious _(BTW. Ziva does not remember this I just wanted to put in)_

"What you got a serious case of DiNozzo-itus and had to come visit?"

"DiNozzo-itus, sounds venereal." Thoughts fly through her head as she relives everything.

"I bet you were considered a pretty girl back in Israel, but step one foot into my country and you're an exotic beauty."

"I am braless Tony."

"I noticed that earlier, but on your phone they're bars."

"We really should take you to see the doctor, sweet cheeks."

"Why is that?"

"Because you snore like a drunken sailor with emphysema."

"Look who's calling the pot black."

"Kettle, pot is calling the kettle black."

"Yeah Ziva, it's called a sex life, maybe if you had one you'd be a little more understanding."

"Ooh, I can tell you stories."

"Tell slowly."

"Okay, but first you need to d me one, small favor." The memories play through her mind. This time everything is so much clearer than when she was awake.

"You send all your rouge agents to DC, make it pour mess? I guess I shouldn't be surprised about Rivkin, considering you did the same thing with Ari, and he was your son. Speaking of family, what kind of a father would throw an out of control assassin at his own daughter? What kind of a business are you running here, everybody just running around doing whatever the hell they want?"

"They do as I say!"

"Rivkin?"

"Always." Her expression slightly changes as this thought plays through her mind.

"I had no choice."

"That's a lie."

"Why would I lie to you Ziva?"

"To save your worthless ass!"

"From who? Vance? Mossad?"

"You jeopardized your entire career and for what?"

"For you. He was playing you Ziva."

"And for some reason you thought it was your job to protect me?"

"I did what I had to do."

"You killed him."

"If I hadn't you'd be having this conversation with him, but maybe that's the way you'd prefer it."

"Perhaps I would."

"Okay why don't you just get this out? You wana take a punch? Take a swing? Get it out of your system! Go ahead do it!"

"Be careful Tony, because much like Michael I only need one."

"Then that's what your really angry about isn't it? That's what's bothering you? It's not that he's dead! It's that your Mossad boyfriend got his ass kicked by a chump like me!"

"You took advantage of him"

"He attacked me what was I supposed…"

"You saw a glass table, you pushed him back, you dropped him on it, he was impaled in the side by a shard of glass. Bloody gasping for air!"

"I guess you read my report."

"I memorized it! You could have left it a t that! You could have walked away, but no you led him up! You put a bullet in his chest!"

"You weren't there."

" You could've put one in his leg!"

"You weren't there."

"But I should have been!"

"You loved him."

"I guess I'll never know." She flinches at the thought of it. She starts to surface, but immediately fades away again.

After a while she manages to open her eyes, she is on her back and confused about what is going on for a few seconds until her mind registers the pain focused in her abdomen. She shifts slightly and notices Sayyid sitting in the corner. She looks at him silently until he sees she is awake.

"Why?" She asks, her voice hoarse.

"Why what?" He asks.

"Why did you decide to join Salim?"

"I do not know, Ahmed was too picky with the jobs he did, I did not want to end up like him."

"How can you betray your brother like that?"

"Look who is talking! And besides I have two brothers."

"You do not have to pick sides, and Ari stopped being my brother when he murdered an innocent woman to get back at my father."

"He never stops being your brother, just like Ahmed and Salim never stop being my brothers."

"Then why betray one's trust to accompany the other? Sayyid, you can do so much better than this, I know you. I know what you are capable of."

"You bitch. Are you trying to make me feel guilty?" He asks sitting forward, a hint of anger flickering in his eyes.

"No, I am trying to make you think about what you are doing before it is too late."

"What? You are worried about me now?" Sayyid asks sarcastically as some of the memories she had with him and Ahmed play through her mind.

"Yes. You were my friend. You and Ahmed both. That is one thing about Mossad I missed when I joined NCIS as a Liaison. I missed all the times we were working together, remember that time we stole The Arab's camels? It was times like that, that made me hesitate whenever I considered resigning from Mossad." Sayyid smiled as he thinks back.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you. But Salim trusts me, I cannot betray him, he is my brother." Ziva turns her head and looks at him furiously.

"So you won't betray Salim because he is your brother, but you had no trouble betraying Ahmed who also happens to be your brother!"

"I did not plan to betray Ahmed! Salim found me, I was traveling through the desert with one of those stolen camels, when I got to Salim's camp, his men grabbed me and that's how I ended up here!"

"So you are held here against your will?"

"No! I am free to go, but Salim has been taking care of me! You know when I found you bleeding to death, I actually considered lying to him, saying you're dead to save you, but as usual you think you know better than everyone else!"

"That is not what I think Sayyid! I am only trying to help you! If it comes down to it do you really think Salim would give his life to save yours? Do you think he would stop a bullet for you?" Ziva asks. Sayyid's mask slips as he remembers Ahmed taking a bullet for him, but he quickly pulls himself together again.

"So I guess you are going to get pissed again soon and storm out?"

"No. Someone has to be with you permanently."

"Suicide watch? Why not just let me die and get it over with?"

"You have information we need."

"I do not know anything! Yes I was on the Damocles, but a fight broke put onboard, the entire crew was wiped out, and the rest of our team was either dead or shot, we set the ship on course heading south that was the last time I saw it! And the rest of the team is in Israel! I do not know who is in the area or who is going to be! I have been working in Washington DC for about four years now, I do not know about everything going on at Mossad!" Ziva tries to explain unsuccessfully.

Therapist's Office

"I kept trying to explain, but he would not believe me. I just could not convince him. I thought he was my friend, but he betrayed Ahmed, he betrayed me, so many people do not even know where he is or if he is still alive. It hurt me to see him there like that, when I looked at him I just saw betrayal, I could not take it." Ziva says, she is making more eye contact with Alice, but she still glance down quite often. Not sure how to comfort her patient, Alice is concerned she might be a little out of her league, considering she never had to deal with one patient having lived through everything Ziva had to and knowing that it is most likely only going to get worse.

"For a little more than a week after I stabbed myself they did not touch me, but then everything went back to the way it was except they avoided punching me in the stomach..."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ziva's Memory

…As the days go by her wounds heal and the routines pick up again. They never hesitate to slap her across the face, though they still avoid her abdomen. They torture her on a daily basis to see what they can get out of her, but she has gotten to the point of just not answering them anymore, because she knows they will never believe her. She sits there in a corner everyday as one of the guards stare at her to ensure that she does not attempt to kill herself again. She sits hoping, praying that Salim would get tired of talking to her and kill her.

The door flies open and three men walk in. the one steps forward and slams her into the wall.

"Why not try to make this fun?" He whispers into her ear in Arabic. As the man watching over Ziva joins the other two. He then throws her to the ground and let the other men hold her down. He moves over her and strips her to her underwear ripping her shirt and throwing it aside. After removing her bra and pants, he moves his head down and licks her nipples. She tries to scream, but the cloth in her mouth prevents most of the sound. He lifts his head and looks at the mark on her abdomen; he runs his fingers over it and gets a mischievous smile on his face. He moves his head down and separates her legs, she tries her best to stop him, but she is unsuccessful. He moves his head in between her legs after removing her underwear. He begins to experiment with his tongue, but she manages to get her leg out of their grip and kicks him on the head with her knee, one of the others quickly grabs her leg and pushes it down, the first man leans forward and slaps her across the face as hard as he can before inserting himself into her and begins his quick, hard and painful forward and backward motions. After a while he moves over and let one of the others have his turn in raping her, the second man's movements are even more painful to her, bursts of pain fire through her as he moves before emptying himself in her. After each of the men had multiple turns in raping her, after finishing, they leave as the new suicide guard enters the room. Still lying exposed on the floor, Ziva feels sick to her stomach, the loss of power was just too much for her, she just wants to die.

Routines continue, suicide watch, torture, rape, noting really changed much until, Salim came dragging her out of the room. She can see that he is angry and is not in the mood to wait. He takes her to the second room and throws her to the floor, not even attempting to get up, she sees Sayyid standing in the corner, watching, a painful expression resting on his face.

"The name!" Salim yells, but when she does not answer he grabs a loose piece of barbwire from the floor and begins slashing her across her back with is. She screams in pain as the steal rips out pieces of her flesh. Sayyid steps forward.

"No! Salim stop! Leave h…" He starts, but Salim turns around slashing his brother across the face. Sayyid steps back before leaving the room as Salim continues questioning Ziva. Guilt sinks into her, tears roll down her face as Sayyid leaves. 'What did I do?' she thinks to herself.

"The names!" he asks again before resuming the torture.

Therapist's Office

Tears running down Ziva's face as the memory repeatedly replays in her mind, she can feel her back burning at the mere memory of that day.

"Ziva, you can stop if you want to." Alice says, trying to give Ziva a break.

"No, I do not want to talk about this again so let's just get over with it." She says.

"Are you sure, as much as you need to talk about what happened, you also need to know your limits." Alice explains, her voice soft and soothing.

"After that day I was locked in the room with a guard the whole time, it was usually Sayyid, they did not rape me when he was there. He helped me, he cleaned up my wounds, brought me clean clothes. I felt so guilty, I still do. He was one of my best friends. At first I thought he had betrayed me as well, but he had no choice, I regret it all now. I just wish I could back and change what happened."

Ziva's Memory

…Ziva feels sick, she has been vomiting everyday now, she sits there waiting for Sayyid to come, she is relieved when he finally does.

"Let me see your back." He says as he waits for the other guard to leave. Ziva slowly lifts her shirt and let Sayyid clean her wounds.

"I cannot stay long, Salim might be here again soon, they have found others."

"Mossad?" Ziva asks, biting on her bottom lips as Sayyid cleans her back.

"No. Americans." Ziva's eyes widen as he says this.

"What?" She asks surprised. Sayyid doesn't answer, after cleaning her wound and redressing it he steps in front of her. He looks her in the eye and asks.

"Are you alright?" She does not answer, but Sayyid knows what she is thinking. He heads toward the door, but she can no longer hold it back and vomits again. Sayyid turns around in surprise. He runs to her and outs his hand on her shoulder.

"Ziva?" He asks, she looks at him and he pulls his head back, knowing what is going on.

"Come." He says and takes her out of the room, thinking of a way to save her he takes her away, but before he could get away Salim rounds the corner.

"Sayyid! What are you doing?" Salim yells agitatedly.

"I thought I would interrogate her again, see what I can get.

"No." Salim says shoving a black bag on her head and dragging her away.

They enter a room and Salim throws her on a chair.

"One off you will tell me the names of all the known operatives in the area and the other one will die. I will give you a moment to decide who lives and who dies." Salim says pulling the bag off of Ziva's head, revealing her to Tony and McGee.

Therapist's Office

"Throughout our conversation I felt sick, but after the bullet went through Salim's head there is nothing until we are on the plane out of there. I have no idea what happened, I only have flashes of Tony and McGee helping me out and of Gibbs, but nothing more. I just cannot help but think about Sayyid. He had nothing really to do with any of that and he ended up dead."

"You blame yourself?" Alice asks knowing the answer.

"It is my fault. When we got back in DC I was reunited with Abby and Ducky. I was down in autopsy with Ducky, I cannot even remember why I was down there, but I started cramping, I told him that I was pregnant and he took me to a hospital."

"You lost the baby." Alice finished for her.

"Yes, I never tell anyone what happened in Somalia because I cannot help but think about what could have happened , and about Sayyid who is dead because of me." Ziva says, tears uncontrollably streaming down her face.

_(There will be another story following this one in a few weeks or days, whenever I am done writing it)_


End file.
